Having spent some time in the Blue Sky world of management, I feel it my solemn duty to impart what knowledge I can of the curious language which has embedded itself into the lexicon of man management. I see this as an organic task, to which individualised generics can be added. That said, this potato is burning my fingers, so I must proceed, with dispatch, to the glossary of terms and their true meaning which I hope you find of use.
Put that on the back burner - your idea is crap, it will die and be forgotten and you can forget any thoughts of a pay rise or promotion whilst I am your boss.
More bang for your buck - the only thing that matters is profit. Trample on who you need to, destroy hopes, lives and loves in the interest of ££££££££ gain.
Firstly let me say thank you for your interest in this position - yeah, you haven't got the job.
Let's retrofit that solution to our existing portfoilo - For God's sake help me cover my arse.
Let me worry about approval, you concentrate on the mechanics - Let me take all the credit, you concentrate on doing all the work.
It's been a challenging year - I am getting a bonus, none of you are. Some of you are getting P45s though.
I have to think of our client base - This idea does not appear to further my career or line my pocket in any way.
I've carefully considered everything you have had to say on this - And ignored it.
Our customers want one stop service - Keep the unwashed masses out of my hair or you're for it.
Work smarter - I am going to lay a few people off.
Go back to what we do best - I am going to lay a lot of people off.
You had a tough start to the year - I decided you were not getting a bonus this year in February.
Use the secrets wisely my friends.
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