Thought I might update today with a second helpful helping of translations of those tricksy phrases management love to grace the office with. Taking a keen interest as I do in phooey, I anticipate more helpful information coming from me in future. Look out for the guide to polite commentary and the Mudppuddlers introduction to the stuff what the other half says and the stuff what they mean, innit? I digress, thus will proceed without delay to today's translations.
See your line manager in the first instance - don't come sniffing round me with your problems, I am far too grand and important, bother someone lower down the food chain.
Let me come back to you on that - you've just made me look like an idiot in front of my underlings. I won't forget.
A significant uptick in business - Help, oh my God help me, I laid off too many staff and we can't cope.
Multi-skilling - Think doing more, more often, for less. Now double it.
Seamless transition - months of chaos with things going missing, deliveries going awry, complaints sky rocketing and at least four versions of the compoany name in use.
A difficult transition - Yeah, we got that one wrong, we're going back to how it was before.
Customer facing role - You talk to them, I can't stand our customers. Is it lunch already?
Each and every one of you has contributed to our success - except me, and I get the bonus, isn't life wonderful?!
This is just the sort of thing that looks great when it comes to reviewing your year - I should know, I've already taken credit for it in my review.
Your name instantly sprang to mind for this project - Here, this is a total mess, do something with it.
Your name is known in high places - Just wait till you see what I have lined up for you, teacher's pet!
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