So, I'm 39 today. One more year until the big one, the start of life, the dimmening, the big shazam. All that jazz. That's not to belittle the 3 and 9. It's the last chance I have to celebrate a birthday without a 4 or greater at the start of my age. In the (slightly meddled with) words of one of my favourite series 'I was a bastard when I was younger, a bastard when I got older, now I am just an old bastard'. In honour of 39, here are 39 things I know through my 39 years of shizziness..
1) Yorkshire puddings are my spinach.
2) Oranges are not the only fruit, but they are the worst opal fruit
3) My general funky sexiness has escalated in direct opposing correlation to my declining youthful vigour.
4) Therefore God is a woman.
5) A very funny one.
6) Despite messers Potter, Ottaway, Scarborough and myself coming up with the idea of reality TV about 2 years before it took off, it is all complete crap. I just wish we'd cashed in on it ;)
7) Football is a strange and useless game.
8) I was born 2500 years too late, I would make a splendid Greek thinker with a cadre of men to do manual work for me.
9) I love my friends very much, even if I don't tell them often enough.
10) Pickled red cabbage.... really?!
11) Cats>Dogs
12) Love can really screw you up
13) It can also make the world turn
14) Every time I have said it, I have meant it
15) If I jump in a hole with you, its because I have been there before, and I know the way out.
16) Tubby men who have had their off stump cartwheeled by your medium pacers are very sore losers.
17) Jam sandwiches with a lump of cheddar on the side. Teenage tea of champions.
18) Those chunky chipsticks? Dip the ready salted ones into a cup of sweet tea and eat them. You'll thank me for it later.
19) East 17's video to stay another day - comedy gold.
20) Rubber necking winds me up more than anything else on the road.
21) I used to believe in things too.
22) Whisky>Beer>Cider>All other alcoholic beverages
23) If I ever go missing, look for me in the Highlands.
24) Mental illness is simply not understood by enough people, and it's not until I started to deal with mine that I realised how little it is understood.
25) I look freaking awesome in formal attire.
26) The Harry Potter look did not suit me however.
27) Laughter gets you through.
28) You can't hide anything from my Mum, ANYTHING.
29) Therefore my Dad is both a wise and a very open man.
30) I am 150% more affectionate than you think I am.
31) I have cried 450% more times than you'd guess.
32) Sometimes I am not at all sure how deep things go with me.
33) I am terrified of finding out.
34) The play's the thing, wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.
35) You learn so much if you just listen.
36) Je ne regret rien
37) If I truly love somthing or someone, a little bit of my heart stays with them always.
38) That is far more useful than you realise, as some of you will discover
39) It's a funny little life for a funny little guy, but I'll do my best with it.
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