Ten things

Having spent much the last year feeling like the sword of Damocles is not only hanging, but actively fraying it's support, above my head, I decided today was a day for fututre ponderage. What, however, can a little numpkin so rooted in the now find in the as-yet-undone to excite and entrance?

I have given it plenty of thought and the key is in the words as-yet-undone. Yes, it's time for the ocassionally flabtastic, always magnificent Mudpuddler to set out his dreams unfulfilled. The following ten things are things I want to do with a certain degree of urgency. In other words, the sooner, the better.

1) The sporting grand slam. I have score goals in football, I have kicked conversions and scored tries in Rugby, cleared from the break in Pool, bagged many five-fors and even managed a half-century in the noble game of cricket. So what is left? A 180 in darts and a 50 break at snooker - notch off those two and I will content myself that I have at least temporarily excelled in all Britain's favourite sports. I would go for a sub-80 round of golf, but I am a golfing spanner and therefore I am ruling it out as a sport of note.

2) Climb Ben Nevis. Stop turning round half way up! In my regular sojourns in the Highlands, I have often started up Ben Nevis, but time, lack of fitness or arsingly inappropriate conditions have conspired against me. I even once pledged to get the whole way with a kiwi I fell in with - however I was unwell that day (! no, really) and he left me halfway up with the immortal phrase 'Shit Dave, you're not very fit are you?'. Man will return to the mountain.

3) Move to the Highlands. There is nowhere that makes me happier (with the possible exception of the North Norfolk coast) - the move after this one is likely to be there. I cannot imagine ever being unhappy waking up to the stunning vistas on offer.

4) Take up mountain biking. I really am a lazy little ratkin at times, and yet I have always fancied a bit of rough track riding on a decent bike. the aim is to kill two birds with one stone - something to do and getting fitter.

5) Finish the bloody novels and short stories I have half-written, noted down, stored in my head etc. Updating this blog is all well and good, but the whole idea was to unblock the writer's block, keep my hand in and help me move all those little projects forward. I have a little folder now though, so surely thingsmust be on the up?!

6) Do a night of stand up somewhere. Speaks for itself - I'm quick enough when out and about, let's see what it tastes like when the pressure is on. I'll feel less guilty about my rapier wit (lollers) once I have fronted up to a crowd of unknowns. Besides, I did it when off my head at the Stoneham talent show many years ago!

7) Return to New Zealand. I had a fantastic month there in 1996 after my friends Dom and Jenny emigrated and I have wanted to go back ever since. In addition to seeing them again, my old drinking buddy of University legend fame Lee is there as is first floor caning teamer Shads. Therefore I am called, and must adhere.

8) Bag the Munroes. Unrealistic, long term aim. However, I want to at least make a dent in the Munroes of Scotland (all peaks over 3000 feet) - its another of those things I love doing (walking/climbing etc) but need to have some focus on to keep me doing it!

9) Learn to paint. I have always painted with words. Whilst I live writing poetry and prose, I would love to be able to draw and paint. Have always been rubbish at it, but as time to myself grows and work becomes less of an issue, I'd like to at least be able to capture an interpretation of my own of some of the beautiful places I hang out in.

10) Fall in love again. Been too long. Nuff said ;)