Greetings Mudpuddlees, I trust the day finds you well? I have been thinking today, which is always a good start for a blog entry. I've been thinking about love, or more specifically, about that particular type of rare and cherished love that goes beyond the Sid James smuttery that accompanies the activity of lust. I am talking about being completely smitten. Rather than just thinking about it however (nice though as that is), I have given some thought to how difficult it is to put into words that particular feeling. So it seemed only fair to give it a go, a blogual celebration of smittenness.
The eyes..... oh, the difference when smitten in how you look at someone! There are times when I could quite happily have drowned in a pair of eyes - just to catch the way the light plays on them, or to wait, breath baited, for that flash of playfulness when you share a joke. When you fall, you fall into the eyes, and you can see deeper into them, even behind them than anyone else. They sparkle for you like they do for no other and you can gauge in one glance the mood of your beloved. There is something trult beautiful about the eyes, and something remarkable about love that makes them react differently, look different than in the normal course of events.
Another thing I have noticed is how ludicrous it feels to try and explain ahy you are smitten to anyone else. I have found myself looking at someone and been totally lost for words. How can you not love this girl?! How is it that you are not, as I am, lost in the most tantalising dream whenever she is around? There are, of course, no words, that is the point. The feeling of total devotion cannot be explained in words, it is a statement painted in your actions, it is demonstrated by the person you are whenever they are around you. If you can see that I love her, then no words are necessary.
Sometimes, early in a realtionship especially, you think what would be a romantic gesture, what might be something to show them you think they are quite the catch. The difference when smitten is that you stop thinking of what you'll do and start doing things you know they will love, and why they will love them. Rereading that it is a ridiculously obvious thing to say, but in truth it's an enormous change in a relationship - it is the point you go from trying to impress to doing the things that make the person you love happy. It all links back to the eyes, who wouldn't want to see those eyes melt into an adoring smile, all for you?
The most important differnce though is the difference in how it feels inside to what you could ever describe. As I said, it is so difficult to describe to someone else that is not in the relationship what you feel and why you feel it, and even if you wanted to, the best we can often manage is a lame description which often tails off into embarassment and introversion. How different to the voice inside you though! The voice within that screams at the same time - because her eyes make me melt, because she smells of summer, because I adore her terrible jokes and the shape of her feet makes me giddy inside. Every time I wake up I can't stop grinning when she is next to me, we fit together as spoons better than anyone I have ever known. She makes awful spaghetti bolognaise, so she makes it just for us to laugh at. She understands me, I understand her, we make perfect sense. There is nothing about her I don't fancy totally. Sometimes I stand outside when she is due home because the sight of her coming down the road makes me want to cry with happiness. It's safe to be soft with her, she never teases me for it, and she has my back, always.
Inside, the voices are screaming that. That's when you know you're smitten.
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